Isn't it funny how when we are younger that we can't do no wrong and that bullshit doesn't stink and how we don't believe how cow horns don't hook until they do... It's like we don't believe no one besides us... Because being hooked on a person from the past or from the future can make you feel like you cannot live without them in it and without them feeling like you have had a spell put on you making you feel and act this way.... And as we often try to run and hide with no visible humans in sight until the spell is lifted off of you...
The hardest lessons learned can be when you decide to share your mind and body and soul with that supposed to be other human.... And darling go fuck yourself... But come to find out they're a great lying turd floating around you before heading down the drain.... And darling go fuck yourself...
Life has shown me that we try not to be stuck on repeat or breaking the same old ground...
But yes I must admit when I was younger I thought I knew everything and that I was always right no matter even when I was wrong...
And I seem that I cannot make my kid's understand this...
In their eyes I will the woman who gave them life while they think and say I haven't been their for them or done shit for them when that is a lie....
But the more I run like the villain that's playing the role of their mom which they'll never claim...
Why hate me?
Why not try loving me like I love you!?
Why keep on hurting me?
And that's why I wish that the world would freaking end or the zombie apocalypse would start because I would be the first mother fucker out banging head's taking out my frustrations on them instead y'all...
But I run-run away but my past follows me like an old addict pushing that needle in their arm waiting for the high of the drug to kick in like sipping on moonshine...
And while I'm breaking the same old ground like the civil war soldier fighting the unstoppable war reenactment like reincarnation of a past lived life before this one...
So please will someone please tell me what to do from rebreaking the same old ground....
In this old freaking town...
While I'm feeling like Kathy's clown that's dying upon this ground...
That only wants your love but that's a wish that will never be like Harry Potter singing a ding-dong song without the melodies and the rhythmic beats playing like Marilyn Manson and his song the beautiful people....
That plays like the same old breaking ground song that plays life long inside of my head like my other personalities whispering it will not be long until you are dead and gone...
Lessons learned the hard way... I learned a long time ago now that most men are liars only wanting a woman for her body nothing more... Because the poor excuses I've heard has been... And these are the top ten... #1. It's not you it's me #2. I love you but I think we need some time apart #3. I want you to have my baby so we can spend our lives together #4. We just don't get a long anymore #5. I don't understand you as the person you are #6. I'mma just not that into you physically, mentally and sexually #7. You have a problem with not being in tip top shape for me which I do prefer #8. We just don't see eye to eye on things #9. You are to unhealthy with your health and which I didn't sign up for #10. I think we should see other people But what they fail to see is the long term damages done by there not committing to you one hundred percent without and questions and doubts... #1. It leaves someone you've done this way feel like they're never gonna be good enough for no one else in life #2. The lack of self-esteem issues that they will always struggle with #3. Always being self conscience #4. It can cause depression #5. Can cause suicidal thoughts #6. It causes trust issues #7. It causes fears of not being loved or loveable #8. It causes sex issues #9. Makes them more vulnerable to be hurt physically, mentally, verbally, sexually #10. Makes them feel ashamed of themselves and it simply makes their lives a living hell So please always be careful how you treat others and always be truthful, honest, loving and respectful because you wouldn't want them to do you that way.... And if you say you do well you simply need to see the nearest psychiatrist for mental health...
